Dark-Village-Dog-Hunt-Night-Ride

Whooohooo.
I'm known as an adventure-seeker.  I love the kick, the special, the unknown and yes, I can see pretty well in the darkness.
And I really love cycling at night...
But this innocent ride I just completed through a silent, almost sleeping Mediterranean village was pretty creepy I must say, even without my fantasy adding double shades to all shadows and expecting dangerous creatures behind every dark bush.
It should have been an innocent bicycle ride through the neighbouring silent village, next to some dark and pretty lost military camp hiding behind the big trees . It's evening and the sky is dark, only street lamps shining here and there and some windows having lights, as well. But the street lights do not function everywhere you'd want them to be. So I cycle, relaxed but carefully with my small little bike front light shining through the dark.
The houses look half-abandoned...the gates and metal fences of the camp are caught in moisty darkness, faraway sounds being heard somewhere. Dead-end streets around me. I turn away from them, making my way through the roads. Silence and occasional cars follow me.
Then: BARKS!!! BARKS!!! They come from both sides of the road , and I speed up as I don't know whether the dogs barking are tied somewhere behind the fences or will rather jump in my way... and I'm only a cyclist, stupidly afraid of dogs...
Cursing at the night attacks, I continue and indeed, a dog jumps in my way. Barking. Following me. My hands shake a little while I curse the dog, speeding up again. Can't it be possible to have a peaceful night ride without shadows, abandoned fences and dogs?!
No, it can't! Cause at the next corner, two beasts decide to catch up on me and follow me increasingly fast and threatening me with their aggressive sounds! I cycle faster and faster - can't be - they've  decided to hunt me! Other dogs around join their calls and I only think of rescue.
After having passed a street corner, I see them stop, and I feel shaky, very shaky, and know for sure - I want out here. And - I hate dogs.
Some other follow up on me during the ride and I decide to make use of the bell or rather shout back and in the worst case, just turn against them and try to ride in their direction, hopefully achieving a surprise effect.
But no extreme measure is needed anymore and I arrive at the exit of the village unharmed.
Conclusion?
Yes baby... That's been a marvellous ride...next time I'll choose either urban paths or daytime...or carry pepper spray with me. For dogs' sake...
Uuh.

J'attends / Old and New

"I'm waiting". 

What for?

To breath freely. 

To stare into the air and say - yes, it is over. Is it over? Something has gone, and something will begin.

I'm not waiting for the new phase to begin before the old will end. 

I'm waiting for the old to come to an end. 

As one gives birth to a new life, one can give birth to an end, in favor of a new life to come.

As the Bible mentions it, "the old will be removed in the face of the new". 

So where is the end? And what am I waiting for?
To dye my hair with a colour of freedom and revolution? To wear my pair of jeans and throw my legs freely into the air? To ride into the open space of a field or  some wide and empty road, to circle around with my bicycle and feel as if I had wings?

To eat my ice cream within a crowded city and feel alone?

To buy the first fruits for my new kitchen and sense pride after cooking an egg?

What am I waiting for?

As to my humble opinion, I'd say I'm waiting for a myself to emerge, an honest one, a self-conscious one, a happy and inspired one, a powerful one, a reasonable one.

But opinions are only fruits of limited minds.

The heart will tell. It will know when I need to stop waiting and start working to achieve my goals. 

There is a time to wait and a time to work, a time to grow and a time to be born and start living.

J'attends. 

The Rhythm of Life

SOMETIMES in order to live your life in a right way, you need to be reminded of its real rhythm.
What is the rhythm of life? 

Despite the fact that each one of us human beings lives different kind of fates and goes through a way more different experiences than there is sand at the seashore, we must feel that there is some kind of "energy" that makes us want to get up in the morning, go sleep in the evening, want to smile, to laugh, to love and simply to feel well.
Well, these things all sound simply and seem natural.
But no, we cannot take them for granted.

Why not?
It might be that you have never experienced the feeling of deepest sadness; of paralyzing despair; of an empty heart; of a hole in your head where there is supposed to be an aim to live for; a shattering feeling of a senseless, loveless loneliness in and around your whole being... If you don't know first hand about this, you are a lucky person. Then it'd be a good educational step to go and look out for people who know, who went through these experiences, and be it only one thing from the list I wrote.
They will tell you, how precious a drop of happiness is. How desired a little reason to smile. How refreshing and powerful a tiny dream to hope for. Be it only for the twinkling of an eye.

We cannot take positive things for granted.

And that's why there is no way we can sit down and wait for them to come. 
To search for the rhythm of life is to search for things which make you really feel good, which are worth of making up your life, which you will never need to regret and to lie about, which are perfectly, completely you. And step by step, during your search, you will feel the beat. The beat is in you. The search is only to teach you to listen to it, and to recognize the music.

Don't take good things for granted. 
If you experience something and this is good - think of where it might come from to you. Perhaps you deserved it by doing this or that action - but do not expect it to return. The next time it is on you to make yourself happy, to do the first step towards the right direction, to give a meaning to your life. Don't wait for others to do this. They have their own rhythm to follow. And while trying to listen to the songs their lifes play, you might very well miss your own.

Open your heart to your soul. You have the key.

Smell of true happiness

 

... The smell of green, freshly cut grass in the backyard of the airport... And I thought I would never ever find the same smell around here, the place I'm now. It's like someone decided to send me sweet greetings from another world. The smell captivates the senses when I catch it, it fills the head and heart with a touchable feeling of happiness and love, it casts a spell on me and lets me be drawn back into memory, far away from place and time. Something which is deep within me... Sun shining, birds chirping, big yellow fruits hang down on the trees' branches..

But once you leave the source, the smell and all it causes is thrown back into the dark, misty pool of memory where it sleeps until....someone comes to wake it.

Lovely smell and lovely place, how I thank you to have been there to recall me of something that is dear!


PS: I never told you about it, but I have a secret love for airports. They remind me of having wings - sometimes - even if the most time of my life I spend without them.

ZR

Devant Moi Longings for Future

Sometimes......
I get these longings...
These visions of - how could my life look like!?..... And then I need so much hope and love around me to go on hoping and living...As it says:

C'est devant moi que je veux vivre, j'ai devant moi beaucoup de vies et des rires...

As I listen to all that beautiful music, I experience so many strong emotions and it rolls through my head: What will I do with all the energy it produces? How can I elevate it in my life, how can I develop into something big and good and useful? How can I express the raging, howling, singing, laughing, burning soul inside of me? Should I meet someone who can take it and give it a name and a body? Should I just go on singing on my own and be nice to my friends and that's it? Or what should I do?
I want to do a big step to something. I just go no idea, what exactly is it that I want. It's one thing I know - I need much hope and belief in myself and in what I have and God help me to find the source and the direction to put the energy in it.
It's night, such feelings often come at night and the beauty and pain make me cry.
To say it again with the words of Mylène which were created for such moments:

 

La vie n'est pas toujours ce chemin droit

Il faut me dire quand vient le noir

J'ai devant moi beaucoup de vie et d'espoir...

ZR

The Power of Being

What 's this, that power? The power of creation, of doing, of change which lies within each human?
Et si c'est un homme, loi parler á création á volonté...

In each human heart there lies a power to bring something new into the world, to release a certain power which has an influence on the world. Why are arrest and prison the most popular punishment for a "misbehaving" human? Because the soul of a human crawls for independence, and each independence produces some kind of action. A human being, like you and me, like to have influence on his life and the life around! In prison, under arrest, your influence is taken - first the influence on others, and as last the influence on yourself, the last and most basic field a human can have freedom in. That's why arrest, prison or even any form of lack of freedom or independence can be so humiliating. You're been taken your most important quality you're supposed to make use of!

As a result of this, people often seek for power. Any power. The power a wife has upon her husband, a cook in a kitchen, a worker over the material he is working at, a boss over his workers, a soldier over his weapon, and a president over the goverment he is leading. In the end, all of us would like to have some control or power, and in the very first - over ourselves. Even if many people I met often say they despise this run for power, they despise the control over others, they despise any show-off of strength or superior ability, like they never would join an army or never go into politics or distance themselves from people who like having bigger presence in life.
But power not only makes us feel strong - it is one of the essences of humanity and it depends on how you choose to use the power you have. The talent of art, of singing, of writing, is another kind of own expression so many people admire. But each such expression is another way of showing your ability. My conclusion is that power is measured by its influence. My breath has no immediate influence on you, but a strong storm does - although it's nothing more than moving air.

If you want to feel powerful you should choose an instrument of power which can bring much good and life, Then this power will ordain you, ornate you and not make you ugly. You and me and all of us.

ZR

Innocence

They say, you never see - you never know, you never hear - you never know,  you never do - you never know. Seems that these three acts basically make up your wisdom. 
What is wisdom? "There is no wise but the one who has experience in life" (Talmud).
But you don't gain experience for nothing , and about wisdom it is said: " Multiplying wisdom multiplies pain." (King Solomon)
My preference? " Je voudrais retrouver l'innocence. "
I seem to prefer innocence over knowledge in many ways. Innocence is like a protecting cloth against the naked ugliness and ugly nakedness of life.
Ne déshabillez-moi pas!
ZR