J'attends / Old and New

"I'm waiting". 

What for?

To breath freely. 

To stare into the air and say - yes, it is over. Is it over? Something has gone, and something will begin.

I'm not waiting for the new phase to begin before the old will end. 

I'm waiting for the old to come to an end. 

As one gives birth to a new life, one can give birth to an end, in favor of a new life to come.

As the Bible mentions it, "the old will be removed in the face of the new". 

So where is the end? And what am I waiting for?
To dye my hair with a colour of freedom and revolution? To wear my pair of jeans and throw my legs freely into the air? To ride into the open space of a field or  some wide and empty road, to circle around with my bicycle and feel as if I had wings?

To eat my ice cream within a crowded city and feel alone?

To buy the first fruits for my new kitchen and sense pride after cooking an egg?

What am I waiting for?

As to my humble opinion, I'd say I'm waiting for a myself to emerge, an honest one, a self-conscious one, a happy and inspired one, a powerful one, a reasonable one.

But opinions are only fruits of limited minds.

The heart will tell. It will know when I need to stop waiting and start working to achieve my goals. 

There is a time to wait and a time to work, a time to grow and a time to be born and start living.

J'attends. 

The Rhythm of Life

SOMETIMES in order to live your life in a right way, you need to be reminded of its real rhythm.
What is the rhythm of life? 

Despite the fact that each one of us human beings lives different kind of fates and goes through a way more different experiences than there is sand at the seashore, we must feel that there is some kind of "energy" that makes us want to get up in the morning, go sleep in the evening, want to smile, to laugh, to love and simply to feel well.
Well, these things all sound simply and seem natural.
But no, we cannot take them for granted.

Why not?
It might be that you have never experienced the feeling of deepest sadness; of paralyzing despair; of an empty heart; of a hole in your head where there is supposed to be an aim to live for; a shattering feeling of a senseless, loveless loneliness in and around your whole being... If you don't know first hand about this, you are a lucky person. Then it'd be a good educational step to go and look out for people who know, who went through these experiences, and be it only one thing from the list I wrote.
They will tell you, how precious a drop of happiness is. How desired a little reason to smile. How refreshing and powerful a tiny dream to hope for. Be it only for the twinkling of an eye.

We cannot take positive things for granted.

And that's why there is no way we can sit down and wait for them to come. 
To search for the rhythm of life is to search for things which make you really feel good, which are worth of making up your life, which you will never need to regret and to lie about, which are perfectly, completely you. And step by step, during your search, you will feel the beat. The beat is in you. The search is only to teach you to listen to it, and to recognize the music.

Don't take good things for granted. 
If you experience something and this is good - think of where it might come from to you. Perhaps you deserved it by doing this or that action - but do not expect it to return. The next time it is on you to make yourself happy, to do the first step towards the right direction, to give a meaning to your life. Don't wait for others to do this. They have their own rhythm to follow. And while trying to listen to the songs their lifes play, you might very well miss your own.

Open your heart to your soul. You have the key.

Smell of true happiness

 

... The smell of green, freshly cut grass in the backyard of the airport... And I thought I would never ever find the same smell around here, the place I'm now. It's like someone decided to send me sweet greetings from another world. The smell captivates the senses when I catch it, it fills the head and heart with a touchable feeling of happiness and love, it casts a spell on me and lets me be drawn back into memory, far away from place and time. Something which is deep within me... Sun shining, birds chirping, big yellow fruits hang down on the trees' branches..

But once you leave the source, the smell and all it causes is thrown back into the dark, misty pool of memory where it sleeps until....someone comes to wake it.

Lovely smell and lovely place, how I thank you to have been there to recall me of something that is dear!


PS: I never told you about it, but I have a secret love for airports. They remind me of having wings - sometimes - even if the most time of my life I spend without them.

ZR

Devant Moi Longings for Future

Sometimes......
I get these longings...
These visions of - how could my life look like!?..... And then I need so much hope and love around me to go on hoping and living...As it says:

C'est devant moi que je veux vivre, j'ai devant moi beaucoup de vies et des rires...

As I listen to all that beautiful music, I experience so many strong emotions and it rolls through my head: What will I do with all the energy it produces? How can I elevate it in my life, how can I develop into something big and good and useful? How can I express the raging, howling, singing, laughing, burning soul inside of me? Should I meet someone who can take it and give it a name and a body? Should I just go on singing on my own and be nice to my friends and that's it? Or what should I do?
I want to do a big step to something. I just go no idea, what exactly is it that I want. It's one thing I know - I need much hope and belief in myself and in what I have and God help me to find the source and the direction to put the energy in it.
It's night, such feelings often come at night and the beauty and pain make me cry.
To say it again with the words of Mylène which were created for such moments:

 

La vie n'est pas toujours ce chemin droit

Il faut me dire quand vient le noir

J'ai devant moi beaucoup de vie et d'espoir...

ZR